Based on Esther 2:5-11
By Pastor Glenn Pease

George Barnell, a Jew living in North Carolina, back in 1871 fathered one of the most unusual daughters in Americans history. Jane Barnell grew up to become the famous Lady Olga, the bearded lady of the circus. She had a thick beard hanging 13 and a half inches, and also a large mustache. The beard started to grow when she was 2 and at 4 she was being displayed, and 65 years later she was still going strong.

When Jane was a toddler, and her father was out of town on business, her mother took her to the Great Orient Family Circus, and came home without her. When the father returned home he was frantic. He appealed to the police, and North Carolina and surrounding states were scoured, but the circus and Jane had vanished. They had gone to Europe. It was several years later in a Berlin orphanage that the father finally found her, and brought her back to the United States. She grew to adulthood on a farm where she shaved just like the young men. At 21 she was persuaded to let her beard grow and enter the circus. She did, and spent the rest of her life traveling the world as an exhibit to the curious.

The story of Mordecai and Esther is also a story of a Jewish father and daughter, but with this distinction that Esther was as unusually feminine as Jane was unusually masculine. Esther was one of the most beautiful girls that ever lived. She was the Miss Universe of her day. She was the most beautiful girl in the Persian Empire, which included most of the known world.

Our focus on this Father's Day is not upon Esther, however, but upon Mordecai. A contemporary bitter male said, "The only thoroughly masculine domain not yet invaded by women is growing a mustache." He obviously never saw Lady Olga, or the many other bearded ladies of history. The real uninvaded domain of masculinity is fatherhood. No woman can beat a man at this role, for no matter how good she is with children, she is always a good mother, and not a good father.

Mordecai was an excellent father event though there is no record of his having any children of his own. Esther was his adopted daughter. We have established in a different message that you do not have to give birth to a child to be a good mother. The same holds true for being a father, and Mordecai is proof of this. Joseph was also a good father to Jesus, even though he did not actually father Him in the sense that He was from his seed. That is the easiest part of fatherhood. The real challenge is to so love a child that it becomes a mature and balanced adult with a solid foundation of spiritual principles to guide them through life. Mordecai was this kind of father to Esther.

Most all of the Bible accounts of fathers are those who deal with fathers and sons. Here we have a rare case of a father and daughter combination. And what a combination they were! They saved Israel from destruction, and they changed the course of history. It is of interest to note the balance of the Bible where we see any combination of people can be used of God to accomplish His purpose. In the New Testament it is Mary the mother and Jesus the Son, with the father only faintly in the picture. Here in the Old Testament we see Mordecai the father and Esther the daughter, with the mother not in the picture at all. God can, and does, use any combination, for any of them can be winners.

It is important to see this, for life is complex and uncertain. There are all kinds of ideals that are best, but the fact is, they are not attained by millions. I don't know why Mary had to raise her family without Joseph, nor why Mordecai had to raise Esther without his wife. Nor do I know why there are so many other less than ideal family situations. All I know is that there is good news, for any of these less than ideal situations can be used of God for His glory, and for His purpose, and life can be full of blessings. Let's look at some examples of how Mordecai was a successful father in a less than ideal situation. He gave to Esther three things that made her a successful daughter, and him a successful father. First of all he gave her-

I. AID IN ADOPTION.

Esther was of a minority race, in a foreign land, and a pagan culture, plus she was an adopted child. Adoption can be less than the ideal simply because there are complications in the minds of adopted children. They tend to struggle with insecurity, and their self-esteem. The father is in danger of trying to protect them so much that they become over dependent. On the other hand, to so push them into independence that they feel rejected and unloved. It is a tough job maintaining just the right balance so an adopted child can feel adequately loved, and still press on to be mature and independent. This, of course, is the same battle all fathers have, but with an adopted child there is an added complexity. Blessed is the father who can provide the aid that is needed.

I have not known many adopted children, but the few I have known have all struggled to some degree with their self-image. It takes a wise father to help them see and feel that they are just as loved, and just as valuable, as their own seed. Mordecia clearly succeeded with Esther, for she was a loving daughter, and one who could be fully independent of Mordeica. She could listen and follow his guidance, and was as beautiful within as she was on the outside.

This is not to say that the father of an adopted child not turning out well is a poor father. Some of the finest fathers fail in attempting to reform a rebel. Andrew Jackson as President of the United States had to write this letter to his adopted son Andrew Jr. He was in trouble already at age 14, and by 25 he was a heavy drinker and deeply in debt. He wrote this on April 14, 1835.

"I now address you with the fondness of a father's heart. How care then you ought to be to shun all bad company, or to engage in any dissipation whatever and particularly intoxication. When I reflect on the fate of your cousin Savern, reduced to the contempt of all by his brutal intemperance I shutter when I see any appearance of it in any branch of our connection."

When General Jackson died he was 24 thousand dollars in debt due to his rebellious unheeding son. I do not believe he was a bad father. Mordecai may have failed with this son also. All I am saying is, that in a less than ideal situation he did succeed with Esther. She adapted to a life that was full of tragedy and sorrow as her people were carried away captive, and her parents were taken in death. We are not told if they died from violence or natural causes, but either way she was left an orphan in a foreign land. Mordecai aided her in adapting to her circumstances, and she became a beautiful well-rounded person. It would have been easy to become bitter and hateful toward the Persians. Mordecai had to teach her not to hate the Gentiles she lived among, and she did adapt and learn to love them. The second thing we see that Mordecai did for her is that he taught her the-

II. ACCEPTANCE OF AUTHORITY.

Esther became the Queen, and she had more power in the snap of her finger than Mordecai had in his whole life. He was nobody in terms of real power, and yet Esther obeyed his authority, and did not reveal that she was a Jew. Her loyalty to her father's authority is a key factor in God's providential plan to save the Jewish race. Had Mordecai failed to teach Esther to accept authority, and to be loyal to authority, the whole plan of God would not have worked out as it did.

One of the greatest tragedies of life is a father who does not win respect for his authority from his children. It is a recognized fact that a major cause of the breakdown of the American family is the loss of authority by dads. A little girl inquired, "Mommy, if the stork brings babies; if Santa brings our presents; if the Lord gives us our daily bread, and Uncle Sam our social security, what is daddy good for."

It is no joke when kids really feel this way. Colonel Farley, founder of Boy's Ranch says 90% of the youth who come to him come from homes where there was little or no influence of the father. Between 80 and 90% of the boys in Boy's Town come from the same type of home. Judge Leibowitz of Brooklyn's highest criminal court has concluded that the number one factor in criminality is failure of the father's role.

If a father does not influence his child to respect authority, the opposite is what will take place, and they will reject authority. They will tend to become problem makers in society. Diogenes the Greek was said to have stuck the father when the son swore. He was illustrating the direct influence of the father on the son. Weak influence of fathers is a major cause of weak people in all areas of life. Studies show that 94% of veterans under treatment or psychiatric reasons experienced father rejection.

We need to balance out what we are saying here by looking at the total picture revealed by the book of Esther. Strong influence of fathers is not necessarily good either. There is another father in this book by the name of Haman, who is the enemy of Mordecai. The whole book is like a Hatfields and Macoys type story, for it is about two fathers and their children who are determined to eliminate each other from the map of Persia.

Haman had all of the advantages. He had 10 sons, and Mordecai had only one daughter. Haman had position and power, and all Mordecai had was hope in the providence of God. The point I want to make here is that Haman was basically a strong father. This book reveals that he had a powerful influence on his sons, and they did respect his authority. They joined him in his battle of bigotry, and gave their lives because of their loyalty. Because evil fathers can teach their children good principles, we need to rise above the secular level to see a Christian father's duty. Doubtless, there are fathers in the Mafia, and other underworld organizations, who teach their children strong respect for authority, and they become loyal people to the cause of crime. You can't even be good at being bad without respect for authority.

We need to see, therefore, that no father has done his job well until his child respects the highest authority, which is the authority of God. Haman failed because his sons obeyed only human authority, and they were loyal to folly that was contrary to God's will. Mordecai taught Esther to respect his authority also, but his authority was based on his obedience to God's authority. We see this in chapter 4 where Esther begins to waver in her obedience to his authority. He responds by lifting her sights to a higher level, and by getting her to focus on the providence of God. In 4:14 Mordecai says, "For if you keep silence at such a time as this, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another quarter, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

Esther was moved by this to go ahead and risk her life trusting in the providence of God. The lesson is clear: No father can be the final authority, for all fathers fall short of the glory of God. Only those fathers who give their children an ultimate foundation can be called good fathers in the biblical sense. A good father is a fallible father with faith in the infallible Father in heaven, and he passes on this faith to his children. This means a good father does not need to be uptight about his weaknesses and failures, for he does not have to pretend he is perfect and infallible. The respect for his authority is not based on its infallibility, but on his respect for the authority of God.

A Christian father needs to be honest about his own mistakes, and not try to pretend that he is always right. Joseph Bayly, the popular Christian author, has raised 7 children. He has punished them when they were innocent. He has failed to tell them he is sorry. He has inflicted pain by his ignorance. He sat one of this little boys on a log in the woods to rest. He had short pants on and there was poison ivy all around the log. You can imagine the fun dad had trying to be innocent and intelligent after that. Bayly says there is no escape from guilt. He had to travel so much when his little girl was small that when he came home she would not recognize him when he wanted to hold her. The point is, he did not need to fear that his failures would cause his 7 year old to be out pushing sweet old ladies in front of cement mixers. They were taught that human authority is to be respected in so far as it conformed to God's authority, as revealed in His Word. this is the goal of all who would be truly successful fathers. The final value we see imparted by this first rate father is-

III. ABUNDANCE OF ATTENTION.

Note verse 11 where the text says that every day Mordecai checked on Esther to see how she was doing. Not every weekend, or every month, but every day. She is a married woman, and she is the Queen of the Persian Empire, yet Mordecai does not let a day go by without letting her know he is concerned. This gives us a strong hint as to the kind of father he was. He was an available father. In our busy world nobody seems to have enough time to do all that should be done, and the result is fathers are often not available to their children.

Children , by their very nature, are not interested in doing what matters for even the long run, let alone eternity. They specialize in the trivial and the transient. In other words, kids love to do what is a waste of time. That is contrary to adult intelligence. We cannot waster time, and so we are always trying to make all time count. The fact is, it is very biblical, for we are told to redeem the time. The problem is that we become legalists, and we forget that Jesus also taught we must become as little children. There is a time to waste time. That is, we must learn to enjoy doing things like children love, which are very momentary fun as an end in itself.

I must confess that I have struggled with this for years, and even as I preach it, I do not always practice it. I am conditioned by the philosophy that we must try to kill two birds with one stone, and make every moment count. Don't waste time, or time will waste you. I still believe these things, but more and more I realize that it is an error to fail to balance this thinking with a childlike love for the enjoyment of the present. Jesus had time in His short life, and even shorter ministry, to enjoy living. He had times of fun, fellowship, laughter and song. He took time out from healing and preaching to go fishing. We always miss the boat when we take our eyes off Jesus, and push any truth to an extreme.

This comes home to you when you read that Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, who said he would never forget the day his father took time out of his bush schedule to take him fishing. It is a highlight of his life, and he learned so much. Boswell's father kept a diary, and when he died it was found, and that day that meant so much to his son had this entry in it. "Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted."

Maybe it was wasted in the sense that he got nothing done, but if getting nothing done is what it takes to be available to your child, and make them feel your attention and care, then nothing is what needs to be done. This is not the kind of nothing that Aristotle defines when he said that nothing is what rocks dream of. That is really nothing, but the nothing of wasting time with your child is really something. It is an investment in the future. A father who cares enough to waste time for his child's sake will produce a child who will redeem the time for God's sake.

Availability is the key to being a good dad. One daughter tells of an interesting thing her father did as she was growing up, and he was her only parent. When she started school he gave her a dime and said, "Patty, I want you always to keep this dime in your purse. Anytime you need me, you call the plant. Tell them you want to talk to your dad, and I guarantee they will let you right through." Many years later she wrote, "There is no way I could tell you what that ten cent piece from my father meant. Even when I didn't need him, just to know I had it in my purse made me feel secure." Little things can help your child feel secure because they give them that sense of access to your care and concern.

This is what Mordecai did for Esther. He made it clear that he was always available. So often you read of a father, or see one playing the role on television, who gets a phone call for a business obligation just as the family is ready to go on vacation. So often they choose the business obligation rather than the family obligation, and the family feels that they are always secondary. Mordecai may have had many other things to do, but he made contact every day with Esther. She knew he was always available. He wanted to know how she was. A father needs to be informed about his children. When dad knows what is going on in the life of his child, that child feels loved. A study found that a high percentage of children do not even know what their father does for a living. This indicates very poor communication between fathers and children. Too many fathers feel they cannot waste time by being available to their children.

A group of 300 7th and 8th graders kept accurate records of just how much time dad spent with them over a two week period. The average came out to only 7 and a half minutes per week. Many only saw their father at the supper table, and many did not see him at all for days at a time. One of the best gifts any dad can give a child is what Mordecai gave to Esther. It is sometime every day showing them attention. Mordecai did it for his daughter who was a grown woman. How much more is it needed for those still in childhood. May God help us as fathers to see the wisdom of Mordecai, and make sure our children feel that we are available to them on a regular basis. This is the key to being the father our children need.