The Joy Of The Lord Is Your Strength!
Title: Forrest Gump II: Forrest Goes To Heaven
by Michael Isaacks
Forrest Gump II: Forrest Goes To Heaven
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is
at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are
closed. Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have
heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up
fast, and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
The tests are short, but you have to pass them before you can get into Heaven.
Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But
nobody
ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard;
life was a big enough test as it was."
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three
questions. Here is the first one: What days of the week begin with the
letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is
God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and
sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a
chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- how many days in the week begin
with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow. "
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I
was thinking, but ..... you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify,
so I'll give you credit for that answer." How about the next one?" asks
St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that
and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's
name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd,
March 2nd … "
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this,
and
I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll
have to give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the next and
final
question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
"Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy."
"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can
understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions,
but just how in the world did you come up with the name of "Andy" as
the
first name of God?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learned it
from the song. . . . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN....
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."
VIEW PAST ARTICLES
|
